Grandma is resting…

I never knew my maternal grandma, but I have a picture and remembrances of her. Tall, a disciplinarian and I was told that she did the best she could, with what she had to work with, in the times she lived. I imagine it wasn’t easy— considering those times.

Engagement in strategies that promote health, prevent disease, maintain health and coping with illness and disability, with or without the support of a health-care provider, was not one of the practices of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in periods of stress.

The World Health Organization defines self-care as: “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health. The necessity to do things that are good for our physical, emotional or psychological well-being. Many African Americans were not socialized, or parented in ways that explicitly taught self-awareness or self-care. In fact, many of us received directly opposed messages to the practice of self-care, and learned unhelpful coping mechanisms such as avoidance, suppression, or self-medication. There is also a general lack of awareness, and ability to easily identify one’s own needs, as well as one’s internal state, that prevents practicing self-care.

Sleep, Diet and Exercise. Treat your body well; nourish it like it was made on purpose and with purpose. To my grandma, personal massages, girl trips, and cocktails on the beach, was not even available in her sphere, but the Word of God was!! It was up to her to avail herself of these.

Growing up, I saw that black women were strong. That we are the pillars of community. That that they raised and protected villages, and that upheld their men. they were expected to do this faultlessly and without rest. Well I’m here to tell you today, that, as the women of old did, we are tired of carrying everybody’s responsibilities! Grandma would concur—she was weary and in need of rest! Pampering, wellness and relaxing on a beach somewhere, of course, was out of the question during her era!

For women who have been raised to be self-less and have been taught to repress emotion, self-care is a way for us to liberate ourselves from generations of historical and familial patterns of suppressed pain, trauma and hardship. It allows us to re-engage with ourselves in a manner that embraces and values our dignity and self-worth.

Grandma passed when my mother was a very young child, and my Auntie then took the role of the “caretaker” of her other younger siblings, until my grandfather could secure another “woman of the house.”🙄

When I looked at her picture, I remember saying to myself that it would have been nice to have gotten to know her. What she thought, how she loved, how she saw herself. If I had known her, I’m sure there would be stories of nothing but pain and abuse. Well, Grandma is finally resting now…

I then began to examine the reasoning behind why people feel like they, had missed out on something from someone, who perhaps could give them encouragement, or could make life better, for them, in the 21st century.
Nostalgia had griped me!! There is nothing about that era that could convince me that I had to hold on to any of those traditional roles that women were forced into playing. Nostalgia had painted a picture of what it meant to have a grandma—and how it is that we think we would benefit from her. Well, perhaps, but there are those who are alive now—that could be an asset to our lives—if we allowed them to. No regrets!

Grandma is resting, finally—in eternity, and our God has provided other means of our loving ourselves unconditionally, when others do not! We don’t need to wait until we pass on, in order to practice self-care! We need to look after, holistically, not only our physical health, but emotional, mental and spiritual health, as they have an impact on every area of our wellness.

We are not to look back in regret about anything and anyone from the past. Learn from their experiences—yes, but we are not to make them a standard or an idol; because Jesus Christ died, to give us the plan of redemption for health, wholeness and abundant life! He stands firm on His own model self-care, which will disrupt systems of powers, such as patriarchy.

I was thinking how important “self-care” is, even now, and the Lord reminded me that as a follower of His word and wisdom, and a professed believer—our “self-care” will always be found in His “Word,” which is the real example of living a long prosperous and healthy life. Self-care, is demonstrated throughout the Word of God, and is just as true, and as relevant as our salvation.

My son, pay careful attention to MY WORD—For they are “life” unto those that “find” them, and “health” to all our flesh. (Prov. 4: 22)

I remember when Donna Douglas (Elly Mae Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies), came to our church, years back and was giving a word to everyone who desired to hear and receive a word from the lord. She would write it inside your Bible as a remembrance. Prov. 4: 22 was my scripture!!

For me, it meant that if…through my life, I would make the word of God, my priority, I would find life, good health, and prosperity!! I have tried to adhere and respect God words every since, and that is what my answer will always be, when asked, what is my “secret sauce” to success, youthfulness and dynamic living.

Here’s a little additional nugget on self-care:

Machines often come with instruction manuals, which detail what the product is, and what it is not designed to do. Those manuals also explain the right way to maintain that equipment. Just as the designer of a machine knows the best way to keep it in good condition, so does the designer of mankind (Jehovah Elohim), know the best way for us to live.

Accidents and incidents still occur, but common sense tells us that following "the plan" as laid out in Proverbs 4:22, is the way to avoid unnecessary infirmities that often occur in this life. We must Not reason the solution away!!

As a general rule, vibrant life and good health, will be the reward to those who do not violate God's Word.
(Proverbs 4:20).